


Forever and Always

by DimiGex



Series: KakaSaku Drabbles [14]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst bomb, Angst makes the fluff sweeter, Character Death, F/M, Hurt then comfort then more hurt, I'm sorry kind-of, Marriage, Naruto and Sakura friendship, it hurts, kakasaku - Freeform, song inspired fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29023968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DimiGex/pseuds/DimiGex
Summary: After learning that Kakashi was injured on a mission, she watches the life that she had planned for them unravel.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Hatake Kakashi
Series: KakaSaku Drabbles [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/871959
Comments: 20
Kudos: 33





	Forever and Always

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by the song Forever and Always by Parachute, I heard it and immediately needed to write it. So I did, and then it stayed on my computer for ages and I'm finally getting around to editing and posting.

Sakura glanced at the clock in the hallway as she applied the finishing touches to her makeup. Pale gloss highlighted her pout as she considered herself in the mirror. She hadn't gone overboard like Ino had suggested, adding only a hint of blush and eyeshadow to her normal routine. Loose curls framed Sakura's face, another of Ino's ideas, one that Sakura liked. She had been growing her hair out since missions were fewer and further between these days. Besides, her appearance was fun to play with.

Tossing a ringlet over her shoulder, Sakura stepped out of the bathroom. It was just before six, so she had a little time before dinner needed to be on the table. It had been almost a week since she'd seen Kakashi. Complaining that he didn't want to grow soft from office work, the man had taken a mission to push himself. At least, that's what he said, but Sakura knew the truth. Kakashi had gotten fidgety since news of their relationship started to make its rounds in Konoha.

Whenever Kakashi and Sakura went out together, they drew questioning stares and sideways glances. It made her furious. Hadn't they both sacrificed enough for the village to be allowed a bit of happiness? Couldn't the people that they'd protected for so long let them find solace after everything that they'd lost? Sakura and Kakashi had dated without drawing attention to themselves for over a year. During that time, Sakura had decided that she was in charge of her happiness and would take it, whether or not anyone else agreed.

Sakura brushed the fingers of her right hand against the ring nestled on her left. The flicker of the diamond against a silver band still made her heart skip a beat. She and Kakashi had discussed the possibility of marriage once, in an offhand way. Then, a couple of months later, he'd knelt in his apartment, fumbled a box from his pocket, and dropped the ring before managing to ask Sakura to marry him. The memory felt surreal, even now.

Feeling a smile on her cheeks at the thought, Sakura checked on the food. When they'd first started dating, she had offered Kakashi a standing invitation to dinner at six whenever he wanted to stop by. Most nights, he did. Kakashi's perpetual lateness wasn't as pronounced now as it had been. She suspected that he'd mostly used it to make a point, though she still had no idea what it was. In fact, he'd even started showing up early on occasion, but Kakashi had sworn her to secrecy to protect his reputation.

Toying with an earring, Sakura glanced at the clock again, half past six. It was later than she normally ate, but not by much. Sakura piled vegetables and meat onto her plate and eyed the table, feeling a flush of embarrassment. Candles cast fitful light over the food. She had gotten her hopes up that Kakahsi would make it home in time for dinner, but it was stupid to get upset over something that he'd never promised in the first place. Rolling her eyes, Sakura carried her dinner to the couch.

Resting the plate on her knees, Sakura picked up a battered copy of _Icha Icha_ and flipped through the pages. After Kakashi pestered her to give the book a try, she'd read it once, and a couple of times since. She didn't find it as riveting as Kakashi did, of course, but it made her feel closer to him when he was away. The pages ate the space between them, and the time. When Sakura looked up, the clock had inched past nine.

Standing, Sakura stretched her sore muscles and walked toward the kitchen. It didn't take long to clear away dinner and wash the dishes. She was blowing out the candles when she heard a knock. After dusting her hands on a towel, Sakura hurried across the room and pulled the door open, affecting a stern expression. "If you think you're getting dinner this late, you have another thing-"

Sakura stopped short when she realized that the face above her didn't match the one that she'd expected. Blond hair glowed when silver should have predominated, and blue eyes stared back instead of grey. Details seemed to jump out as time slowed. Naruto wore the red and white Hokage cloak over his shoulders, which meant he'd come directly from the office-Sakura realized that the man's mouth had been moving, but she hadn't taken in any of the words. "What?" She asked, giving herself a mental shake.

Naruto started again. "I said that Kakashi was injured-"

"How badly," Sakura interrupted, already pushing into the hallway to shut the door behind her.

Naruto's lips pulled in an unfamiliar frown. "You need to come to the hospital."

Sakura stared at her former teammate as if he'd grown a second head. He had just said that Kakashi had come home from a mission injured, so of course they needed Sakura at the hospital. She nodded, following him down to the street. The scent of sunscreen, heat, and summer hung heavy in the grey dusk. Somewhere in the distance. Sakura heard the sizzle of fireworks. She wrapped her arms more tightly around herself. A chuckle rose in her throat when she realized that she still wore the strappy black dress that she'd chosen to welcome Kakashi home in.

The sound stopped Naruto in his tracks. "Are you okay?"

Rather than answering, Sakura swept forward to the hospital. A few curious glances turned in their direction when Naruto's cloak caught the swirl of air conditioning. Nurses at their station snapped to attention at the sight of Sakura and the Hokage together. Sakura vaguely recognized a pitying emotion on their faces, but she ignored it. One of the women opened her mouth, then shut it, as if she'd forgotten how to form words.

Naruto moved with a calm familiarity that surprised Sakura, sweeping through the hospital as easily as she could have. He continued past the nearly empty waiting room and beyond the reception area with its stunned nurses. Naruto strode through the echoing white hallways that no longer felt like home, but a patient beast waiting to swallow Sakura down its glistening gullet. He pushed through the double doors that separated urgent care from intensive, down the hallway of noisy rooms with incessant, cricket-like beeping. Deeper still, into the most secure parts of the hospital.

Sakura's chest clenched so tight that she couldn't draw a breath when they approached the final barrier. Unaware, Naruto shoved through heavy doors with 'restricted' written across them in blocky letters. He held the panel open, but Sakura couldn't force her feet to take the next step. _No, no, no,_ the word repeated in time with the pounding of her heart.

Naruto watched Sakura, his face a mask of pain and uncertainty. She knew that expression intimately; she'd worn it enough herself. The man reached out like he might take Sakura's shoulder and guide her forward, but she slipped beneath his hand and stepped into the hive of activity that usually centered around her orders. Machines beeped out a rhythm that Sakura recognized. How often had she laid her head against Kakashi's chest and heard that same sound? How many times had she been lulled to sleep by counting each heartbeat? _No!_

Someone spoke, but the words washed over Sakura like a foreign language. A deeper voice joined the first, possibly Naruto's, but she couldn't focus enough to register the meaning. Her eyes watched the numbers on the monitor beside _his_ bed, the painfully low blood pressure and abnormally high heart rate. A nurse followed her gaze, then pinched her lips together.

"-scouts found him." Naruto's words rang in Sakura's ears as she finished crossing the miles to the bedside.

Wild, silver hair stood out in contrast to the white sheet and pallid skin. One arm dangled off the edge of the bed, navy sleeves rolled halfway up the forearm. Something about that bothered Sakura, but she couldn't figure out what it was. She reached one hand forward, paused in midair, then curled her fingers back into a fist. _No, we made plans. We were going to leave the village for a while. Get married, start a life, have a family._

A sob squeezed Sakura's throat, lodged there to prevent the questions that she needed to ask. Warm weight pressed her shoulder, familiar and foreign enough that Skura nearly shied away. The movement took too much effort. She raised her hand a second time, forcing herself to brush the hair splayed across Kakashi's forehead. Cool, clammy skin met her fingertips, and a shudder ran through Sakura's body. Naruto's hand tightened.

Sakura expected to feel panic, a flurry of urgency to fix things. But, numbness wrapped her in its icy claws. She breathed out hard, forcing the pain deeper than she'd ever done before. Kakashi's eyelids fluttered open. "Sakura?"

Forcing levity into her voice, Sakura moved closer to the bed. "You're late," she chided.

Kakashi chuckled, and the sound morphed into a painfully wet cough. The nurse moved forward at the same time as Sakura, then fell back. "Shh," Sakura murmured. "Save your strength. You're going to need it the next few days."

Sakura didn't believe the words any more than Kakashi did. The telltale signs were scattered across the room: the flashing numbers on the monitor, the sedate atmosphere, and the lack of urgency. Sakura caught Kakashi's hand with hers and meshed their fingers together. To her surprise, he squeezed. "I'm sorry. I should have stayed I'm sorry that I-"

"Enough of that," Sakura answered, fussing with the blankets across Kakashi's chest. All nonessential personnel had left the room; only Naruto and the nurse remained. Sakura ignored their presence. "You're going to be fine."

Against her better judgement, Sakura eased chakra into Kakashi's body. A host of cuts and bruises marred his skin, but the real damage lay deeper. Sakura almost gasped at the soft, pulsing of lacerated organs. Knitting her brow in concentration, she pushed her chakra toward the hasty repairs.

"Stop," Kakashi gasped, twisting as far away from Sakura as he could on the small bed. His eyes squeezed shut.

The nurse moved closer, her voice urgent. "Haruno-san, he doesn't have the chakra to sustain a more rigorous healing."

 _I know that! Don't you think I know that?_ Sakura almost snapped, but she dipped her head in understanding. Medical ninjutsu required precise control from the medic, but it also needed energy from the patient. The combination of the two chakras stimulated the body's cells to repair themselves faster than they could naturally. As usual after a mission, Kakashi's chakra reserves were dangerously low. To force healing could be as fatal as leaving the wounds untreated. If only they had called her as soon as he came in-

"'M fine," Kakashi mumbled when the thoughts rushing through Sakura's mind caused her fingers to squeeze too tight. She glanced at the numbers again, dangerous, but no longer as dire as when she'd first arrived. Her presence had a stabilizing effect. "I can't die yet, I still owe you that trip to the hot springs."

"It's called a honeymoon," Sakura corrected, pouring as much hope as she dared into her voice. "You owe me a wedding first, then a trip."

Kakashi exhaled with a faint chuckle, then grimaced. "Details."

"Important ones," Sakura whispered, chewing her lower lip.

As much as Sakura wanted to help, there was nothing she could do. Kakashi had already been treated with as much ninjutsu and modern medicine as possible. She noted the bags of fluid, blood, and pain killer being pumped into Kakashi's body. She had stood in this room many times, saving patients from the brink of death and losing others that she thought she could pull back. She'd held hands through tearful confessions, seen security drag raging relatives out, and watched life ebb away from those who had no one else.

During all of those encounters, Sakura had never considered which category she fell into, never imagined that she'd be in this situation. Watching the shallow rise and fall of Kakashi's chest, Sakura flicked back to the numbers beside the bed. Dammit, why hadn't they leveled out? When his eyes drifted shut, Sakura twisted her fingers free of Kakashi's and pressed them against his wrist. The weakened thump made her stomach tighten. Then, she had an idea. "Marry me," she urged.

A stir went through the bodies behind Sakura, but she didn't turn around. Kakashi's eyes fluttered open. He looked confused. "I already promised-".

"I mean, right now," Sakura interrupted before Kakashi could waste more strength arguing.

"I thought you wanted to make Ino jealous of your dress," Kakashi teased, carefully forming each word.

Sakura shook her head as the idea took hold. "I don't care about any of that. I just want you, I want us." She gazed into the grey eyes that she'd fallen in love with so many months ago. "We both know that we're not promised tomorrow, and I don't want to wait any longer."

"Sakura," Kakashi chided gently, focusing on her face. He raised one hand to brush over her cheek with cold fingers. "Not like this, I don't want it to be because of this."

"Not because of this," Sakura agreed, pouring every ounce of fervency that she possessed into the words. She sat on the edge of the bed, squeezing his hand. "Because I love you, forever and always."

Kakashi gazed up, eyes softening. "You're taking advantage of me because of the pain medicine, aren't you?"

Sakura laughed, biting back the tears that pressed at the corners of her eyes. One slipped free when Kakashi shook his head. "We don't have rings, an officiant, or anything else that we need."

"Mine should fit her well enough," the nurse said, stepping forward. She pulled the silver band from her finger with a little effort.

Sakura flashed the woman a grateful smile, then turned toward her silent teammate. "And, Naruto could officiate. I'm sure the Hokage has that authority."

The blond seemed unconscious of the fact that he'd been turning his own wedding ring on his finger. He paused the movement, gaping at Sakura. "Me?"

Sakura had no idea if the words were true, but they seemed feasible. The Hokage wielded decision making power for nearly everything in the village; officiating a marriage was minor in comparison. Even so, the position and years had changed Naruto. Now, he bore the weight of husband and father in addition to village protector. She couldn't be sure of his answer.

Naruto closed his eyes, looking older than he had an hour ago, and held out his hand. A golden band nestled in his palm. "This should fit Kakashi, too."

Kakashi met Sakura's gaze. For a moment, the rest of the room flickered out of existence. A flood of memories stole her breath, too fast to grab hold of: their first kiss, quiet dinners in her apartment, lazily reading together on the couch, his proposal, their discussion about having kids one day. Sakura's entire world was wrapped up in Kakashi, and she couldn't imagine it without him. She squeezed his hand.

"I don't know what to say," Naruto mumbled, pulling Sakura from her thoughts. He stared between them, blue eyes shadowed as he tried to find the right words. Finally, he sighed "Sakura, do you love him?"

Sakura caught both of Kakashi's hands in hers, surprised at the way her heart thundered at the question. "I do," she whispered, eyes trained on Kakashi's. "I will always love you, through every up and down that life throws at us. Forever."

A smile curved across Kakashi's lips, visible through the mask that Sakura couldn't believe he still wore. "Kakashi." Naruto paused, voice too thick to continue. When Sakura glanced up, she saw the distinctly watery cast of his eyes before he looked away and started again. "Kakashi, do you-"

"Yes," Kakashi answered before Naruto could finish the question. He looked away from the blond and raised one hand to Sakura's cheek. "I didn't know that anyone could make me feel the way you do. I love you."

Sakura bit her lower lip, unable to stop the rush of tears down her cheeks. She couldn't differentiate the happy ones from the sad ones. A quiet sniffle came from the nurse behind her, but Sakura didn't turn. Instead, she slid Naruto's ring onto Kakashi's finger. The gold stood out against his pale skin. He raised a hand to focus on the band, and chuckled weakly. "Not the color I would have chosen."

The nurse let out a strangled laugh that Sakura mimicked. Just a few hours ago, she had been wondering whether Kakashi would like her new dress. Now, they were getting married with borrowed rings. Her heart felt like it could burst from all the emotions pouring through it.

Kakashi reached past Sakura for the other ring. Spreading her hand gently, he slid the cool metal beside the diamond that he'd given to her. The silver circle was too large for Sakura's finger, but she closed her fist to keep it in place.

Naruto cleared his throat, voice heavy with emotion when he managed to speak. "By the power of my office, and in the presence of these witnesses, I declare you husband and wife."

Sakura reached toward Kakashi's mask, then paused with her hand in midair. The damn mask always caused so many problems. She breathed a sigh of relief when Kakashi pulled the fabric away himself. Sakura leaned in, pressing her warm lips against his cool ones. She lingered there long after the healer inside warned that he needed air, as if her touch alone could fix everything. Maybe it could.

When they broke apart, Sakura didn't open her eyes. She rested her forehead against Kakashi's as she'd done so often in the past. Sakura imagined the day that she'd dreamed about since Kakashi asked her to marry him: the breeze ruffling her hair, the scent of cherry blossoms, and the feel of his arms tight around her when she took his name. She allowed herself the fantasy for two heartbeats, then forced her mind back to reality, back to the drumming of a machine and the quiet tears of a stranger. "Now, you really do owe me that trip," she murmured against Kakashi's lips.

"Forever," Kakashi returned, voice soft enough that only Sakura caught the word. She pushed back enough to see the readings beside the bed. Her heart fell at the numbers. They were low, too low.

The nurse moved forward, pressing her fingers against Kakashi's neck. He stirred, eyes fluttering open, then drifting shut again. Routine carried Sakura away from the bed to make room for the nurse to perform her duties. The woman mumbled encouragement as she moved around the bed and turned dials on the instruments, but Sakura understood that it was a show, at best.

Arms closed around Sakura, and she found her face buried against the white and red Hokage cloak without knowing how she'd gotten there. Naruto's bruising embrace kept her from turning when Kakashi's heartbeat slowed further. Sakura squeezed her eyes shut against the tears, holding her breath as if that were the only thing holding the inevitable cacophony of warnings at bay.

When they finally came, several moments later, only Naruto's strength kept Sakura's knees from cracking against the laminated tiles below. Distantly, she noted the panic in his voice as he yelled for the nurse to do something, but the words were as insignificant as the tears running down Sakura's cheeks. The only thing that mattered, the only thing that Sakura could hear was the high pitched whine of the flatline confirming that Kakashi was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thank you for Cinlat who helped me reworking the ending a dozen time to get what I wanted out it.


End file.
